What's in the way IS the way

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"We don't see things as they are. We see them as WE are."
~ Anais Nin


What if the VERY problem that you wish with all your might would just go away, is the very way for you to move from where you are to where you want to be?

You know that problem. The one you pray about when you go to sleep. The one that wakes you up. The one that gnaws at you in the back of your mind. 

I bet you've had problems like...not enough money, appreciation, time, sanity, energy, support, love, connection, wherewithal, clarity. The problems that really follow us around seem to have a lot to do with "not enough."

I can also bet that you have ideas for solutions...but they feel simultaneously too simple and extraordinarily hard. Earn more money, save more money, move stuff off your plate, delegate tasks, take time for yourself, have a conversation, schedule a meeting, write a proposal, put yourself out there, let go of control...

Hearing sayings like "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and "find the silver lining" only go so far when you are in the thick of a major issue. I find this frame of mind applies more in retrospect, when we have our hindsight of 20/20.

So what if, even in the middle of the mess, you find what the real message is for you? 

What is this circumstance trying to teach you about yourself? What triggers you in the scenario? And most of all...

What are you making all of it mean about you?


The external obstacle you are facing isn't just outside of you. It's a reflection of your interpretation of yourself and how you see the world. 

Here's a practice to help you uncover the message in the mess:


Step 1:Write down the big, hairy, specific problem you are wrangling with.

Step 2:Ask yourself "What am I making this mean about myself?" Allow yourself to free write for 5-10 minutes, without analyzing it.

Step 3: Ask yourself "What am I making this mean about the world/life?" Allow yourself to free write for 5-10 minutes, without analyzing it.

Step 4: Ask yourself, "How do I want to look at this differently?" Consciously choose what you want to make this mean instead and how you want to approach this situation differently. 

Step 5: Ask yourself, "What do I need to do? What is a step I can taketoday?" Take that step. 


If you'd like support in this process, there are already a couple of ways available to you- like the free Project Changemaker Community or in a Project Changemaker Session

There is always a way. It always starts with you.