The #1 Thing You Need LESS of to Be Yourself
Ironically, I am about to give you the very thing I am also proclaiming you need LESS of in order to be yourself.
To be completely honest, I walk a very thin and blurry line between two really strong beliefs I hold.
On one hand I believe that you are your own healer. That no one else can heal you.
On the other hand I believe that we all need support, love, belonging, and space to be our true selves. That others can help us on our journey.
You are strong as an individual. And you are still human.
But only you know what you need and what you don’t.
The #1 thing I believe you need less of is… other people’s advice on what you should or shouldn’t do.
Yes, I am giving you advice about not needing other people’s advice.
On my path (which is always evolving by the way – I believe we can be “healed” and still be healing as long as we live), I found myself looking to others for advice on just about everything: what to eat, how to eat it, who to date, what job to take, where to live, what kind of business to create, how to market, what to think, how to think… the list goes on.
Pretty much, I was looking for advice on who the fuck to be.
The result? I got massively confused.
I mean, how can’t you?
There are so many diets out there – from raw foods, to vegan, to paleo, to GAPS, to ketogenic, to juicing; the list goes on and on. I’ve tried them all. (So I started to eat what felt right to me).
I’d date guys that looked great on paper but I’d always leave the relationship because something was missing. (So I finally got back with the guy my heart had been with all along).
I tried all the social media tips: Post MWF. #hashtagthefuckoutofeverything. Keep your focus on your “business.” (So I finally just started posting pics of my dogs, what inspires me, and my, you know, real life.)
I moved around – a lot. Like over five times in one year. When I’d have to reset my password to some credit card or other, I’d cringe when they’d ask me “So what address is on file?” ...Because I didn't know. I didn’t know where to live. (So I finally just decided to live where feels like “home.”)
We need less of the bullshit of what other people, society, or made-up constructs are telling us to do, and more of us being in alignment with our choices and who we are.
It’s not that advice or outside support is a bad thing. But the way I practice supporting others is asking them what they need – not shoving my ideas down their throat. Am I always perfect at that? No. I've got shit to work on too. But that’s why I love the work I do – it helps me be a more real me.
When we let the advice and opinions of others override what our inner voice is saying, we are blocking the very insight that allows us to be our most authentic selves.
The only way to reconnect with that insight is to learn more about yourself.
What do you really and truly need?
What do you believe?
What do you stand for?
How do you want to live your life?
Consistently tapping into these insights leads to purposeful choices and actions, which lead to results you feel good about, especially the result of trusting yourself more. Self-trust can be here in an instant. It’s a practice to maintain access to it, but trusting yourself never fails.
Trusting yourself, and your own inner voice, will always bring you right where you need to be.