Purpose

The 3 Stages of Healing

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Feeling stuck, sick, misaligned, “off,” doubtful, fearful, lost, or frustrated never feels good.
 
We pretty much will do anything we can to not feel it. So we numb out, project it onto others, or cover it up with self-contempt, anger, envy, or guilt. We end up making ourselves feel like a different kind of shit, in order to not feel like shit. 
 
But I think we care about a lot more than not feeling shitty or even our own happiness. The reason these states don’t feel good is not just because that’s not who we really are. It’s because we know we have so much more to offer.
 
We don’t want to feel this way because we want to contribute something bigger.
 
What if you knew that this feeling, this phase you are in, was only a temporary stage? Fodder for your new unleashing?
 
Well, it is. 
 
It’s part of a distinct process of healing, with three different stages. 
 
The first stage is called the “Oh, Shit” stage. It’s where you feel misaligned, lost, sick, or not sure what to do.
 
The second stage is the “Ok, Breathe” stage. It’s where you start to feel better, more like yourself, and you can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
 
The third stage is the “Heal, Yeah!” stage. It’s where you are fully being the Real You and are actively engaged in saving the world and making that contribution.
 
I think many of us get into the “Oh, Shit” stage and think that there is something vitally flawed about us. Which ends up keeping us in that stage and fueling that belief. 

Or we get to the "Ok, Breathe" stage but end up sabotaging our own efforts and head right back to stage one. 
 
But guess what? This is NORMAL.
 
Have you met a being on this planet that hasn’t experienced some sort of suffering?
 
We suffer not for the sake of suffering, but to dig deeper into ourselves to find more of our internal strength. That means it’s OK to suffer…but you also don’t need to stay there.
 
In fact, the world needs you NOT to stay there.
 
So how do you move through it? How do we get into that “Heal, Yeah!” stage, with authenticity, determination, and maybe some messy grace?

The process I use in my life and work is called “Feel, Heal, Real.”
 
Each step in this process has its own challenges, but also its own immense rewards. You can use it for big stuff, or the “little stuff” that happens every day.
 
Feel
 
Feel is all about experiencing your experience, not pushing away the emotion or story, but also not allowing it to run you either. It’s heart-felt observation. Through this compassionate presence, we are able to dig up the deeper story that is causing the suffering. You start to feel the energy shift here… like you may have a choice or option moving forward.
 
Heal
 
Heal is about mending that suffering in some way. Sometimes that’s releasing something. Sometimes it’s integrating something. I find it tends to be both. We let go of what we don’t need, what is not really in our – or anyone else’s – best interests, and integrate the qualities, stories, and learnings that do serve the Highest Good.
 
Real
 
Real is actually witnessing and actualizing Real results in a physical reality. This is where you see the fruits of this process and the inner work. It’s where you feel vibrantly healthy, connected inside yourself and your relationships, and feel you are serving the world with your purpose in a super fulfilling way.
 
No matter what stage you are in, or where you are in the process, you are right where you need to be. This is iterative work. It’s cyclical and no one’s got it all figured out.
 
There is definitely a lot of self-trust involved in this. Courage to really look at how you are contributing or perpetuating your own pain. As well as a willingness to change.
 
But as Maya Angelou so poetically says:
 
"You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great."

So trust yourself. Move through, by being you.

Right where you are.
 

Love Always,

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Why There's No Such Thing as a Lost Cause

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I’ve always been idealistic, maybe even quite naïve. Sometimes it does cause me pain and suffering. But more often than not, believing that good exists and that more of it is coming has served me in huge ways.
 
There’s a concept called “The Great Eastern Sun.” The essential meaning of it is that there is always opportunity, or goodness.
 
Great = the discovery of our basic goodness
Eastern = realizing our goodness is always there
Sun = the illumination once that discovery has been made
 
What this translates to is that no person or thing is a lost cause.
 
I believe this is vital to remember as we engage with life. Even in seemingly everyday experiences, living by this teaching is powerful. Imagine if we treated each other as that basic goodness. Imagine if you treated yourself like this.
 
If you are going through an illness, making a major life transition, grieving from a loss, or even asking yourself which direction you want to go next, living by the Great Eastern Sun philosophy can help.
 
That’s because the Great Eastern Sun also means a mental conviction and whole-hearted prowess to engage with life with purpose. It’s not just lukewarm inspiration. It’s living your vision.

Your vision is what you believe in so deeply, it is inextricable with who you are. It's what you grab hold of, even when it may feel like your drowning and can't even see the sky.

To live life with this level of bravery, you need to not only know you vision in the intellectual sense, but also feel it in your very being. That vision is what stems from deep inside of you and radiates forth.
 
This is what heals you. The beams of your vision traveling through you to get out to the world heals you in the process.
 
The only time we feel like we are a lost cause is when we’ve lost sight of this vision.
 
I love this excerpt from Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul:
 
Your relationship with God is the same as your relationship with the sun. If you hid from the sun for years and then chose to come out of your darkness, the sun would still be shining as if you had never left. You don’t need to apologize. You just pick you head up and look at the sun. It’s the same way when you decide to turn toward God – you just do it. If, instead, you allow guilt and shame to interfere, that’s just your ego blocking the Divine Force. You can’t offend the Divine One; its very nature is light, love, compassion, protection, and giving. You can’t make it stop loving you. It’s just like the sun. You can’t make the sun stop shining on you; you can only choose not to look at it. The moment you look, you’ll see it’s there.
 
Now go back and read it again, only this time, use the word “vision” in the place of “God.”
 
Your relationship with your Vision is the same as your relationship with the sun. If you hid from the sun for years and then chose to come out of your darkness, the sun would still be shining as if you had never left. You don’t need to apologize. You just pick you head up and look at the sun. It’s the same way when you decide to turn toward your Vision – you just do it. If, instead, you allow guilt and shame to interfere, that’s just your ego blocking the Divine Force. You can’t offend the Divine One (or Your Vision); its very nature is light, love, compassion, protection, and giving. You can’t make it (your Vision) stop loving you. It’s just like the sun. You can’t make the sun stop shining on you; you can only choose not to look at it. The moment you look, you’ll see it’s there.
 
You can also use the words “purpose,” “Calling,” “True Self,” “Source” – really whatever word reverberates with you and feels like Truth.
 
Because when you are living in your Truth, you are standing in the sun. Trust in your basic goodness, and you will always find your way.
 

Love Always,

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Reconnecting with Who You Are

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I was sitting in my favorite local café, Mellow Moods, the other day, just people watching. It just recently changed ownership and there have been quite a few learning curves for everyone involved, as there is with any transition. I was thinking to myself how when we go for what we want in life, it never turns out exactly the way we think it will.
 
I have caught myself in this many times. Just the other night my boyfriend asked me what I was thinking about and I realized I was trying to planning out 2019…
 
There is nothing at all wrong with planning. I love the phrase “Proper preparation prevents piss poor performance”  ;) Yet, I also find myself getting everything laid out so beautifully on paper, only to start engaging with that idea in real life and running into obstacles.
 
It’s important to remind ourselves that there is nothing wrong with us or our idea if it looks or feels a bit (or a lot) messy in the making of it.It’s totally natural. It’s the creative process.
 
My dad was an architect, and funny enough, I learned a lot about architecture when it comes to the human body and our souls. In architecture, there is a concept call “tensegrity.” It means:
 
Tensegrity (n): the characteristic property of a stable three-dimensional structure consisting of members under tension that are contiguous and members under compression that are not.
 
In layman’s terms, that means… everything is connected. When you affect one aspect of something, it also affects everything else.
 
This happens in the human body. If your foot is out of alignment, it affects the rotation of your knee, the alignment of your hip, and has effects all the way up to the top of your head.
 
The same goes for our ideas and dreams. Once you start to engage with them, take action towards them, you are literally creating change, not only in your life, but in the entire system.

Aka, when you create something, it affects the whole world.
 
It’s easy to get discouraged and think, “I’m not doing enough. This isn’t making a difference.” But whenever you put positive energy out into the Universe, it HAS to change something. It can’t not. It’s just the law of physics.
 
So I get it. Sometimes we want to take a lot of time to get that idea perfect, to plan it out to perfection, to make all the lists we need to tic off in order to accomplish it. Taking time for thoughtful and heartfelt preparation is amazing and necessary.
 
Trust yourself. There just comes a point where it is time to go, to lean into the action, to try something new, even something incredibly simple, and see how it reverberates. Not only in the outer world, but also inside of you. It connects you with who you are.
 

Dream with your head in the clouds. Walk with your feet on the earth. And live with your heart in the world.

 
Because you know it in your bones when you’re creating a ripple effect in the way only you can.
 

Love Always,

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Wander into Your Heart

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In April 2017, I got a wild hair up my ass and felt called to hike the Appalachian Trail. In regular Danielle spirit, I decided I wanted to do the whole entire thing in one fell swoop.
 
The entire goddamn 2,000 + miles of it.
 
I had never done such a thing before. But this is how my crazy ideas start sometimes. I remember reading Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wildand thinking to myself, “I’d like to go on an adventure like that someday…”
 
I also blame my boyfriend, Jonathan. It’s been his dream to hike the AT, too. One day, I asked a question of my community:
 
If you could go on any adventure, what would it be?
 
Jonathan told me he’d hike the AT. Although I had heard something like this from him before, for some reason it struck a different cord this time. It felt like it was the time for me to embark on this. So I bought my first backpacking backpack, a tent, and a shit ton of dried food and set my sights on a six-month journey.
 
Jonathan dropped me off at the southern terminus of the trail: Amicoloa Falls State Park on Springer Mountain, GA. It was raining. Profusely.
 
We went inside to register. I wasn’t sure what my trail name would be, so I put a placeholder in it’s stead – Weasel, a nickname my family calls me. Before stepping outside to say our goodbye, the bumper stickers in the gift shop caught my attention.
 
I laughed out loud at one.
 
“Don’t follow me. You won’t make it.”
 
I am not even sure why I found it so funny, but the laugh was real.
 
A few minutes later, I was wiggling my way in to my rain gear – a pair of black “waterproof” pants and a $200 Gortex rain jacket. We kissed goodbye and I felt that familiar stab when you part from the physical presence of someone you deeply love. But I knew it would be OK. We’ve made it through even tougher circumstances.
 
With a big inhale, I started to walk. I did turn once or twice to see Jonathan taking a ton of photos of me. Eventually though, the trail turned and I could no longer see him.
 
The light rain made the woods seem even more enchanted.
 
I’m not exactly certain when that enchantment wore off for me. I knew it would. I knew from reading other’s stories about similar journeys, as well as my own past, that when it’s new, the adventure can feel super exciting.
 
Then the reality of it all hits.
 
I am alone. In the woods. Just walking.
 
Well, not completely alone, because I do have this 40-lb pack on my back. I named her Maven.
 
I soon discovered that although I had done my very best to limit the weight I was carrying, Maven was heavy as hell. I also discovered a slew of other things, such as…

  • You can get blisters in the oddest places
  • When it rains in the forest, it stays wet for a good long while thereafter
  • Chipmunks moving around at night sound a whole lot like bears
  • Mice enjoy climbing over the top of your tent when it’s cold out
  • Rain gear is NOT waterproof
  • One can get tired of tuna fish very quickly 

I found myself cursing the trail – sometimes even yelling at it. Why was this so hard?!
 
It just stared back at me.
 
The trail taught me a lot. It was tough love. But I realized ultimately that the trail was just a reflection of myself. The harder I was on myself, the harder the trail was on me.
 
I needed to stop trying so damn hard.
 
So I cut down my mileage. I made friends. I lightened my load. I stopped in little mountain towns every three days to restock.
 
I learned to ask for help… and then actually let others help me.
 
I turned the tunes on (Florida Georgia Line for all my country music fans out there!) I was still huffing and puffing – these were mountainsafter all. I still vented, cried, screamed, got mad, stomped, and contemplated in my head and aloud with companions why the hell I was doing this.
 
I don’t think I ever knew fully why I was doing it, and maybe I still don’t. But that adventure called to me strongly, so I had to give it a shot.
 
I had to combat thoughts that I was a failure for not hiking as fast as others. For eventually deciding that I would get off the trail in Damascus, VA after 525 miles, instead of reaching Mt. Katadhin. I had to love myself enough to realize that the goal and destination don’t make me any more worthy than I already am.
 
My hiking buddy I met on the trail had a favorite phrase she always said.
 
“Get it together.”
 
That’s what answering our callings does to us. It pulls us into the middle of the woods, blows us apart, and then… with some grace and some grit… it gets us back together again.
 
I lost some stuff along the way – articles of clothing, sanity, ear buds... but I also found another piece of myself. One that realized she was strong enough to go for it...and strong enough to let go of it.
 
Because we never can really “quit.” As long as we are alive, we are always engaged in this adventure.
 
I think about that bumper sticker, “Don’t follow me you won’t make it”that’s plastered to my car among a dozen others. It’s true. We cannot follow one another. We can’t expect to walk down someone else’s path and it feel “right” and “true.” We can only walk our own. We can learn from others, but the last say is always our own – from our True Nature.
 
“True Nature” became my trail name. Because that’s what I was seeking and am still seeking, in my heart and soul.
 
I left the AT on June 25, 2017. But I’m always on my path.

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Freedom To Live

Your Hero’s Journey: Freedom to Live

 

You wake up to a bright, fluorescent light bulb blaring above your head. It’s one you’ve seen, day after day, for years. But today, it’s different.

 

The cheap fan is blowing steadily, rotating slowly from side to side. The slight draft is a respite from the heat. Even the breeze feels different.

 

You throw the sheet off of you, and climb down off the top bunk of the metal bed. The body in the bed below you snores softly, still sleeping.

 

Making yourself a cup of instant coffee, you sit in the hard plastic chair and lean your back against the bars of your cell. Sipping your drink, you contemplate how this is the last day you will be in this cage.

 

Today is the day you leave prison.

 

Oddly enough, you notice a slew of different emotions. Anger at yourself for putting yourself in this position. Fear of the unknown and uncertain future. A bittersweet sadness, because there are those you have met who still be here after you depart. Hurt over what others have done to you. Shame over who you believe you are, and feeling like your life has not yet amounted to what you want it to be.

 

Yet, even as you feel these emotions, you’re aware of them. You are aware that they are stemming from thoughts that are not empowering you. Thoughts that are not true.

 

Closing your eyes, you take a few deep breaths, and bring your attention inside, to what feels really true. The thoughts dissolve.

 

You feel a huge wave of peace wash over you. You see all these emotions, all these stories, and you realize that they are not who you are. That you can indeed let them go, and decide to embark on a new adventure.

 

The anger turns to passion – passion for this gift of your life and for starting anew. The fear turns to excitement – excitement for all the possibility that lies ahead. The sadness turns to compassion – compassion for all those suffering, here and elsewhere. The hurt turns to forgiveness – forgiveness of yourself, others, and the past, and clarity around a new future. Shame turns to strength – the inner strength to realize who you really and truly are.

 

You are powerful.

 

In that moment, you hear your name over the loud-speaker. Setting your cup down, you stand.

 

You walk out of your prison, into the big wide-world of your Destiny.

 

***

 

The Hero’s Mastery of the Two Worlds is True Mastery of the Self. This mastery leads to freedom from the dear of death, which in turn is the freedom to live. This is the final stage of the Hero’s Journey.

 

Freedom to Live is what it means to live in the moment, neither anticipating the future nor regretting the past. You just ARE. You’re body may still do things, but you do them with not-doing, with an energy that emanates from the core of your being.

 

You are motivated by love, connection, oneness, and joy. Indeed, you recognize this is all there is. Any time a lie comes up, you are able to see it as such and gently release it with love, returning to this freedom that is you.

 

A Hero’s Journey is truly never over, because death is a construct of the mind. It’s a journey of ongoing evolution, where you are always evolving into more of who you are. As one saga of the journey completes, another begins, because there is always more to learn, always more to grow, always more to love.

 

We are always arriving.

 

Love Always,

 

Mastering Two Worlds

Your Hero’s Journey: Master of Two Worlds

 

“Part of me wants to do this, and part of me doesn’t,” she said.

 

“Well, what’s the part of you that does?” I asked.

 

I was working with a client facing an inner conundrum. It’s one we’ve all faced at some point or another in some similar fashion.

 

A part of her wanted to go all out, dedicate herself to the vision she had of helping others heal, and just enjoy the whole process. The other part of her, however, felt this was insensible, irrational, and believed she needed to buckle down and make sure the bills got paid.

 

“The part of me that does, well, she’s free-spirited. She trusts that everything is working out. She just feels loved and gives love.”

 

“And the other part, what about her?”

 

“She wants to make sure shit gets done. Like she doesn’t want to leave people hanging and she wants to make sure I’m taken care of.”

 

Through my own experience and working with others, I’ve come to believe that we have two worlds we live in. One is our Outer World and one is our Inner World.

 

Our ego, our conscious mind, our personality – this is the aspect of us that engages with the Outer World, or the Material World. There is nothing wrong with the material world – it is the very Earth we live in. The mind, by itself, wants to ensure our safety, our survival, and our needs being met.

 

Our soul, our unconscious mind, our higher self – this is the aspect of us that engages with our Inner World, the Spirit World. This world is no less real than our Outer World – it is the very vehicle by which we perceive our life. The soul wants to ensure our growth, our destiny, and our gifts being shared.

 

“What is the conflict between these two aspects of yourself? How is that a problem?”

 

She pauses, but only for a moment. The answer comes to her clearly.

 

“It’s a problem because part of me believes in myself… and another part does not.”

 

“What is her purpose – this part doesn’t believe in you?” I ask.

 

“To make sure I stay safe,” she answers.

 

“For what purpose?” I ask.

 

“So I can survive longer.”

 

“For what purpose?” I ask, not intending to be a parrot, but truly, the parrot’s got the right idea.

 

On we went, and I asked this same question, over and over again, of both parts.

 

I could start to hear the shift in her voice, the change in her energy, and even her physical body relaxing as she connected more deeply with these two seemingly opposing forces inside herself… that were really one and the same.

 

Turns out that both of these parts really wanted the same thing – to Be Love, Source, and to Enjoy the whole process of Life. At the surface, they were going about it in different ways. But just like two people reaching a heartfelt consensus, these two parts realized they were part of the same whole – who she was.

 

Integration really is a simple process, but it’s often the road less traveled. It can feel “easier” to engage with our problems on the surface level, never really digging down to uncover what the deeper issue really is.

 

In the Hero’s Journey, as the Hero Returns Home and achieves full integration, she reckons a balance between the material and spiritual world. Another way of saying this she creates an mending of her Inner and Outer world.

 

When we feel whole, our whole life feels whole. The next step becomes clear. Fear falls away because we are fully present with who we are.

 

We know exactly what to do.

 

At the end of our session, she thanks me profusely. I smile and say, “You were the one who did the work. I just sat here and watched.” Because, really, all I did was ask the question…

 

“For What Purpose?”

 

Love Always,

 

Homeward Bound

Your Hero’s Journey: Crossing the Return Threshold

 

It was a 90 degree day in New Orleans, Louisiana. Which meant it felt like 110 with the humidity. Humidity so thick, you could chew it.

 

We were finishing the last coat of paint on the last room of the three-bedroom shotgun house in the neighborhood of Lakeview. During Hurricane Katrina, flooding from the 17th Street canal floodwall breach inundated the neighborhood, as well as most of the Crescent City. This house, like many others, was a complete rebuild.

 

Just months ago when I visited, the original house was several blocks down the street, up against a bent telephone pole.

 

Hundreds of thousands of people were affected by the storm, and so many lost their homes. In the months and years after Katrina, the community – from all over the country – has come together in rebuilding efforts.

 

I was working with a newly fledged volunteer organization rebuilding houses. I had learned a lot that summer – from hanging drywall, to how to breath through the unbearably hot masks to protect you from mold, to how to make your paint job look even.

 

Of course, I was having lots of fun. I loved the people I worked with. I loved that I could see the progress of my work. I loved working with my hands.

 

But nothing compared to the look on the woman’s face.

 

***

 

Have you ever felt homesick, dear one?

 

I believe we all have.

 

Maybe even for most of our life.

 

Home is much more than an abode to live in. A town to identify with. Even a community you feel an integral part of.

 

We all crave to return to the home that is inside of ourselves.

 

I’ve found for many of us, in order to find that home, to really discover it, it requires getting lost.

 

In The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy couldn’t wait to skedaddle from her small Kansas town. But even though she yearns to go back as soon as she arrives at Oz, she must go through the Hero’s Journey to discover that the home she seeks has been inside of her all along.

 

This stage of the Hero’s Journey is where the Hero crosses the threshold to return “home” – or to the old world she originally departed from. Her purpose is to retain the wisdom gained on the quest, integrate that wisdom into a human life, and share that wisdom with the rest of the world.

 

We are not meant to live in a vacuum or in isolation. We are meant to connect with our gift, to engage with our power, and a natural unfolding will occur so that we can share this with those around us.

 

So that we can bring the healing fully home.

 

***

 

It was a cooler morning a few weeks later. We were just stopping by to grab the last of our supplies – some old paint rollers and paint buckets we had left.

 

As we pulled up, we saw another car in the driveway. An older woman was working her way up the steps. She turned and looked at us, and then beckoned us to come to her. We got out of the car and walked up to greet her.

 

“Have you been inside yet?” my friend and the director of the organization asked.

 

“No I was just about to walk in,” she answered. “I can’t thank you enough for all the work you have done! We are so happy!”

 

But she did thank us. At least me anyways. The look on her face was more than enough.

 

The woman had tears of joy in her eyes as she walked over the threshold of this newly painted house.

 

Finally, she got to go inside. Finally, she got to come home.

 

Love Always,

 

Your Magic to Fly

Your Hero’s Journey: Magic Flight

 

The reason we resonate so much with the Hero’s Journey is that we inherently recognize it as the path we are always on during our life.

 

This journey transcends time, place, culture, and religious upbringing.

 

In fact, I learned a great deal from the story of Moses. A great teacher of mine told one version of this story to me.

 

In this story, Moses is fleeing with his people from the Egyptians. He knows he needs to get to the Red Sea.

 

But he takes the wrong path.

 

He does get to the Red Sea…but it is not parted.

 

His people are behind him, depending on him, and the Egyptians are bearing down.

 

What would you do?

 

Moses tunes into himself. “I had this vision that we are supposed to cross here. This must be the way to go.”

 

Moses trusts that although he took the “wrong” path, that he is here and so it must be the right path.

 

So he walks into the sea, up to his ankles. Nothing happens. His people wonder what he is doing.

 

Then he walks in to his knees. Still nothing happens. His people are growing more concerned by the moment.

 

He walks into his waist. His people start yelling, “Hey Moses! What the F*** are you doing?!”

 

Moses remains calm and walks in up to his chin, still the sea remains. His people can literally see the Egyptians over the crest of the hill. The fear is palpable.

 

Then Moses walks all the way in, fully submerged. Even his staff is under water. He takes his last breath…

 

…and the sea parts.

 

He and his people run through the parted sea, just as the Egyptians approach. The sea closes like a curtain behind them, blocking the Egyptians from reaching them.

 

Moses had to go all in and trust.

 

If Moses had taken that “right” path and reach the Red Sea when he could have crosses, the Egyptians would have been able to cross as well, follow them, and kill them.

 

If you want the Universe to go all in with you, a toe in the water is not going to do it.

 

It’s OK to step fully forward into the unknown and trust yourself.

 

This story represents the stage in the Hero’s Journey where the hero must escape with the boon. It’s called “Magic Flight.” This magic flight can be just as adventurous and dangerous returning from the journey as to go on it.

 

Taking flight is the hero completely believing in herself. Literally taking a leap of faith. Because with the boon of the journey, she has also realized that the boon lies within herself.

 

She knows she must share this boon, her Real Self, with the world. So she is willing to take the risk, take flight, and see where the magic takes her.

 

Love Always,

 

Sharing Your Gift

Your Hero’s Journey: Refusal of Return

 

A bodhisattva is a person, who with great compassion, achieves nirvana to benefit all sentient beings.

 

Legend goes that the bodhisattva leaves the village, goes to the mountaintop, attains enlightenment, and then goes back down to the village to bring others to this same mountaintop of nirvana.

 

The story of the Buddha is an example of such a legend.

 

One thing that many do not know though, is that in this story, the Buddha initially is hesitant to teach. Not because he did not want to help. But because what he wanted to teach could not be communicated with merely words.

 

In the Hero’s Journey, the hero may refuse to return after she has achieved her ultimate boon. Having found bliss and enlightenment in the other world, the hero may not want to return to the ordinary world to bestow the boon onto her fellow beings.

 

Have you ever experienced this, my dear?

 

Whether it be not wanting to “go home” after a relaxing vacation or retreat, or feeling that words lack the depth you want in order to describe your vision, many Hero’s refuse to share our gift with the world.

 

But in this refusal, we can choke off our bliss.

 

We are constantly evolving, constantly growing.

 

So although it may feel like we are “going back” by engaging with the “real world,” what we are really doing is bringing this peace, bringing the “real world” to others.

 

One of my clients, after experiencing such radical healing in her body and life, was hesitant to return to seeing her family after months of being away. It was the holidays, and even though she was very happy where she was, she was dreading the interaction with her parents. Not because she didn’t love them. Because she felt they wouldn’t get her anymore.

 

With courage, she decided to step into that world. Because when we engage with others, we truly are allowing ourselves to step into their world as well. What she experienced amazed her. Although she didn’t have the same conversations as she may have with her Soul Family, her tribe she has met along the way, she was able to have deeper level conversations about life with her family. She actually saw, heard, and felt that they were opening up to her new lifestyle. She even felt like she “got” where they were coming from too. Through the whole interaction, she didn’t feel like she needed to explain herself at all.

 

That’s because she wasn’t explaining her vision. She was living it.

 

We can truly never walk back through the same door ever again. We are always evolving into more of who we are. We can experience similar lessons along the way, but we are experiencing them at a higher level than before, for a deeper learning.

 

As we learn more, as we experience more peace with and within ourselves, it is part of our Hero’s Journey to share this gift with others. It’s not an obligation, you can and may indeed initially refuse.

 

But when we see how much the world needs our help, needs our presence, how can we not step forward as our best selves? How can we not feel gratitude for our own healing and want to share that with others?

 

How can we not ask, "How may I serve?"

 

Love Always,

 

Reaching Your Destiny(ation)

Your Hero’s Journey: The Ultimate Boon

 

What is the thing, that once you attain it, you feel you will have fulfilled a major piece of your destiny?

 

I believe that even though we all intuitively know that “having” something outside of us will not make us happy in and of itself, that as humans we all still deeply crave to engage with our dreams as a process of discovering what we truly desire.

 

I dream of creating a home for authentic living and leadership, call The Haven. It is a physical space for healing and change, where you come to BE. It’s a sustainable farm, retreat center, and school. It’s a family, a community, a tribe. It’s a way of life.

 

Even though I want this very much, whenever I find myself feeling any “lack” for not having it, I remind myself that this place, this Haven, is inside of me. It’s inside of you too.

 

It’s Your Haven Within.

 

The external goal is there to help me reach inside myself, day after day, to find my internal soul that can bring it into being.

 

The thing with healing anything, with achieving anything, is that we ARE that thing, first, before we recognize it’s physical representation in our reality.

 

On the Hero’s Journey, this achievement is called the "Ultimate Boon." Note that this happens AFTER the shamanistic death, or apostasis. The Hero lets go of who she thinks she is in order to be who she really is.

 

The ultimate boon is the achievement of the goal of the quest. It is what the person went on the journey to get. All the previous steps serve to prepare and purify the Hero for this step.

 

One client I worked with was driven to help women empower themselves. She was drawn to faith healing, to showing up fully, to teaching others to be their best selves by practicing this in her own life. As she went through her journey, she experienced all of the stages.

 

She heard the call. She refused it. She had supernatural aide coming at her from all directions. She decided to cross the threshold and undergo an utter inner and outer transformation in the “belly of the whale.” She experienced more than her fair share of trials – trials I was awed by how she handled with grace and strength, even as she struggled. She was tempted to go back, to give up on this mission and go lead a “normal” life, but she knew she couldn’t. She had come too far. She atoned with the authority figure in her life, and integrated that power in her own authentic leadership. She even experienced the apostasies, the representation of death by completely letting go of the outcome. And through this process, she realized the ultimate boon – she was able to heal herself, be a space for other women to heal, and the true gift – be her complete self in the process.

 

I believe that’s all we all really want – to just be our damn selves. No restrictions. No judgments. Just complete acceptance of who we really are.

 

Just be you, and all that you desire finds you.

 

After all, it is your Destiny(ation).

 

Love Always,